As much as we don’t like to admit it, us book lovers don’t always get along. There’s usually something we’re bickering about, whether it’s ebooks vs. paperbacks, how many books you should read before you can be classed as a ‘book worm’, or what kinds of books we should read. The one thing that I’m pretty sure we can all agree on though, is…
Spoilers suck, right? There are, though, certain ways to deal with spoilers. Politely explain how disappointed you are, for example, that someone has let slip the ending. Perhaps you could avoid talking to that person about books in the future too, instead keeping conversation to more neutral, safer topics like religion or politics (because those topics never cause controversy, right?)
There are, however, some things you probably shouldn’t do.
“Like what?” I hear you cry. Like, say, completely cutting that person out of your life. That’s probably a bit of an over-reaction. Or, for example, smashing the book over their head until they crumple to the floor whimpering and begging for forgiveness. That’s probably not such a good idea.
Neither is stabbing someone in the chest.
A bit harsh, that, you might say. You’d be right, of course. Extremely unlikely, you could argue. Well… you’d like to think so, wouldn’t you? Me too, but rather madly, it’s not that unlikely at all. At least not for one Mr. Sergey Savitsky (pictured below, right), a 55-year-old scientist working at a remote outpost in Antarctica with his friend and colleague Mr. Oleg Beloguzov (pictured below, left).
With little to do over their four-year stint in the back of beyond, Beloguzov and Savitsky wiled away their hours reading books. Sounds idyllic, right? No trill of an interrupting telephone, no boss to demand you go to work every single damned day instead of lying in bed reading, nothing to distract you from the pure bliss of devouring books one after another.
Except Beloguzov had a rather nasty and unfortunate habit. No, it wasn’t farting and burping. It wasn’t picking his nose and flicking it, either. It was much, much worse. Beloguzov was a SPOILER! (Disclaimer – he may well have done the other things, but we’ve had no such reports).
Savitsky is currently under house arrest in St. Petersburg, charged with attempted murder, and why? Because he was so fed up with Beloguzov revealing the endings of the books that he finally snapped and stabbed his friend in the chest. Beloguzov is now in hospital being treated with a stab wound to the heart.
Now, we can all agree that revealing spoilers is just mean and uncalled for. Spoilers can, for a book lover, be absolutely devastating. But I think we can also agree that stabbing someone in the heart as the result of a spoiler is just a tad over the top, don’t you?
Of course, the real mystery is, after first few spoilers, why didn’t Savitsky just read the books first, thus avoiding potential spoilers?